Success and Failure

In chapter 14, I found the topic of success and failure to be helpful and kind of inspirational in a way. This section of the chapter alluded to an unnamed sage observer who said that "the person who makes no mistakes usually makes nothing." I've definitely learned this lesson over the past few months. For a long time, I put off getting a job and trying a lot of other things outside my comfort zone because I was afraid of failing or making a mistake once I started. But, like the unnamed observer said, I remained stagnant and didn't achieve anything because I wasn't trying or putting myself in a position to learn from my mistakes. This section of the book goes on to mention another observer who "concluded that failure is a success if we learn from it. Recognizing failure is one of the surest route to success, if we examine why we failed." Now that I've been trying new things, like coaching, I find myself analyzing my own performance after every game and practice and trying to figure out what went well, what didn't go well, and what I can do to improve in the future. And when I do make a mistake, I listen to the more experienced coaches when they try to help me along or make suggestions. According to the book, this ability to receive feedback creates an opportunity for me to develop. If I weren't receptive to this advice or if I didn't recognize my own shortcomings, I probably wouldn't show any growth.

The book lays out 10 guidelines for observer feedback. The first one is to avoid generalizations. This means that when you compliment or critique someone, be specific about what they did well, or what they could have done better. Just saying "good job" is too vague and doesn't necessarily help the person understand what they did well.
The second guideline is to focus on behaviors that can be changed. For example, if a member of a group takes on a self-centered role and starts hurting the group, the observer and the group will want to address that and make sure that everyone is behaving in the best interest of the group.
The third guideline is do not debate or argue with the group you are evaluating. Since the observer is supposed to provide helpful feedback to allow the group to improve, it would be counterproductive to argue. Getting input from the observer can be helpful, but the group members are the ones that ultimately decide if they accept the observer's opinions. If the observer persists and clashes the group, it will probably lead to less productivity.
The fourth guideline is to not micromanage the group process. Observers are supposed to help a group improve in specific areas, not try to control every aspect of the process. As the book alludes to, it's better to  focus thoroughly on a couple things and do a really good job rather than trying to cover everything.
The fifth guideline is to remember your role. The observer's main purpose should mainly help a group evolve and facilitate a productive environment. That's why it's important to give positive feedback as well as constructive criticism. Negative feedback will only discourage the group participants and won't necessarily help them if the feedback is vague.
The sixth guideline is to accentuate the positive aspects. Whenever someone gives me feedback, it always helps to hear them say something positive first because it builds confidence and gives me a sense that I'm going in the right direction.
Seventh is to end with specific suggestions for improvement. It would be very unhelpful if an observer told a group all the things that they didn't do well, but didn't provide any suggestions to help the process; that would be just as good as wandering around in the dark without a flashlight. By giving specific suggestions, the group can try them out and continue to develop instead of remaining stagnant.
The eighth guideline is to be clear and concise if you present your ideas orally in writing. If the observer writes whole paragraphs at a time, that can be overwhelming for the group members and may discourage them if it's all about the stuff they need to improve. Orally, it's best to be concise because it's easier to remember what the observer said if he or she used less words. Also, long winded ideas can get boring and cause the group to tune you out.
The ninth guideline is to compliment in public and criticize in private. This is something that I've learned about since I started coaching my hockey team. As a coach, you'd rather have a one on one meeting with a player if you're going to criticize him/her rather than chewing that player out in front of the entire team.
The tenth guideline is develop positive relationships during the feedback process. Since the observer's job is to help the group, they want to maintain a good relationship with the group by not blaming people or giving negative criticism.

Small Group Observer

According to the book, small group consultants or observers can offer insight from a different perspective from the rest of the group. Corporations have realized that observers can help groups develop, and have started using observers to evaluate small groups. Using an observer or consultant is beneficial for groups because they don't have a stake in the outcome and can evaluate the group's process and skills from a more neutral standpoint. The book also talks about assigning one of the group members to be the observer when an outside observer is unavailable. This is a less desirable option in the sense that it is hard to participate and evaluate a group at the same time, but giving each member a chance to evaluate the group can provide an opportunity for self reflection as well as group assessment. When one person from a group is able to step back and evaluate a group, he or she can see which strategies and processes work, and which ones don't. These kinds of observations can help each member of the group improve down the line.

Discussion 3: Conflict Management

It was interesting to read about the various perspectives of conflict among different cultures because I didn't realize how many ways certain countries perceive group conflict. The book gave an example that compares the culture of sharing homework answers between kids from a Mexican background and kids from a North American background, saying that Mexican kids are more likely to share answers because they are taught the value of cooperation, generosity, and solidarity. On the flip side, North American students are taught to be more independent and value individual success; this discourages sharing answers because it is viewed as cheating. There are aspects of both perspectives that I like. For the North American perspective, I like the idea that individuality and self-sufficiency are valued because we won't always have someone else to help us or bail us out of a situation, so we need to be able to learn how to do certain things on our own. Conversely, I like how the Mexican culture stresses group cooperation and solidarity because that can help kids learn about working as a team and being more social. To me, a kid that tries to help a classmate figure out an answer rather than just taking the shortcut and giving away the answers for the homework shows a happy medium between cooperation and individuality.

White Men of Privilege

The book explains that we make assumptions about who has the social, economic, and political power, and that we take these positions of power for granted. When the book refers to "white men of privilege," it saying that the assumption for many years has been that wealthy and privileged white males from the upper-class or upper-middle-class have been the proprietors of the social, economic, and political power. This means that white men of privilege have more opportunities afforded to them than minorities. I obviously disagree with the   principle of this concepts, but I certainly agree that it has existed throughout our history. One of my closest friends is half black, and, coincidentally, we were talking about this concept last month. He has told me that the concept of white men of privilege is definitely a real thing and that he and his family have experienced it and had to deal with it their whole lives, and that he has been denied the same opportunities as other white males because of his race.

Valuing Diversity

I think it is difficult for a lot of people to value diversity. Everyone in this class is part of a country, a city, and a school that is rich with cultural diversity, but there are factors that can make it hard for people to appreciate the melting pot of people. One obstacle that the book highlights is assumptions/stereotypes. As the book alludes to, we often judge and categorize an entire group of unfamiliar people based on just a few people that we know from that group. I think groups can learn to value diversity more by getting to know the people in their group. When members of different groups come together and form one diverse group, getting to know each member of the group can make things feel more personal and, to paraphrase the book, see each person as an individual with unique skills and perspectives rather than a representative of an entire group or culture.

Assigned and Emergent Roles

I found the concepts of assigned roles and emergent roles interesting. The book says that "assigned roles exist in most groups," whereas "emergent roles are worked out [and] are result from the interaction of group members." This comes into play a lot in groups. Usually, in groups, we are assigned roles that suit our strengths. But in some situations, through experience with the group, certain people emerge and embrace a role that was assigned to another member of the group. This is what happened when I played for my high school hockey team. The coach originally made me a forward, but when one of the defensemen started struggling and the coach noticed that my strength was playing defense, he had the two of us switch positions. Since I emerged as a good defensive player, I was able to fill that role on the team even though it was not the role that I had been originally assigned.

External and Internal Constraints

The difference between external constraints and internal is that external constraints are factors that affect the decision-making process rather than the problem itself; internal constraints are rooted directly to the problem and could be the ultimate cause of it. The book says that internal constraints can also set "limitations on the implementation."

For example, when I would go out to eat with friends over the summer, I usually didn't buy anything because I didn't have a lot of money and I wasn't eager to spend what little I did have. The external constraint that kept me from buy food or drinks was money, but the internal constraint was that I was unemployed. My problem of not having enough money to buy things was caused by the fact that I didn't have a job, whereas my lack of money was a factor in my decision to not buy anything when I went out with friends.

Group Norms

Over the last few years, I've grown accustomed to a few norms at SJSU. One of those norms is the exchanging a phone numbers when a group forms for a class project. In high school, we used to meet during lunch or exchange emails, but at SJSU, the exchange of phone numbers between group members is an implicit norm. I identified this as a norm through experience; every group project that I was a part of always exchanged phone numbers immediately so that we could text each other and set up group meetings, no questions asked. Also, if you are on certain floors of the MLK Library, it is understood that you don't talk loudly or disrupt other people that are trying to work or study. 

In my group of friends, one of our peripheral norms is to meet within about 20 minutes of the time that we agreed to meet. When I first started hanging out with my group of friends, I used to show up at the exact time that we decided to meet; then I would end up waiting for about 20 minutes for the rest of the group to show up. After this happened a couple times, I realized that it was a pattern that was sort of understood and has continued to this day. But it's not a big deal if someone shows up a little earlier or a little later.