Over the last few years, I've grown accustomed to a few norms at SJSU. One of those norms is the exchanging a phone numbers when a group forms for a class project. In high school, we used to meet during lunch or exchange emails, but at SJSU, the exchange of phone numbers between group members is an implicit norm. I identified this as a norm through experience; every group project that I was a part of always exchanged phone numbers immediately so that we could text each other and set up group meetings, no questions asked. Also, if you are on certain floors of the MLK Library, it is understood that you don't talk loudly or disrupt other people that are trying to work or study.
In my group of friends, one of our peripheral norms is to meet within about 20 minutes of the time that we agreed to meet. When I first started hanging out with my group of friends, I used to show up at the exact time that we decided to meet; then I would end up waiting for about 20 minutes for the rest of the group to show up. After this happened a couple times, I realized that it was a pattern that was sort of understood and has continued to this day. But it's not a big deal if someone shows up a little earlier or a little later.
I laughed when I read that a peripheral norm of your group of friends is to meet about 20 minutes within the time you agree to meet. Last semester it bothered me to no end when the group members I was working with would appear up to a half an hour later than the time we had all agreed to meet. I’d use up the first half hour of my lunch hour waiting for them to show up, and then could only stay another half hour to get the work done that was supposed to take an hour. I wasn’t comfortable showing up later than I had agreed, because my “norm” is that it was rude to do so, so this happened time after time. If I had known about peripheral norms, which, as the authors write are, “behaviors that should be engaged in or avoided but these are rarely essential to the effective functioning of the group,” I would have saved myself a lot of frustration if I had accepted that this was a norm of the other people in our group and that we would still manage to get our group project completed despite how late people showed up!
ReplyDeleteHello Burg, I really liked your blog and how your example you used to explain group norms at SJSU. In my post, I used an example of actual groups such as certain cliques on campus. You used a great example of an implicit norm of group members that are used here at SJSU. I never really thought of it until I read your post that exchanging phone numbers and contact information between group members are considered norms. The process of exchanging information with one another are things we experience on a day to day bases here at SJSU, especially when it comes to projects and upcoming meetings. Anything that we do similar daily (simple as exchanging numbers) are categorized as a certain norm. You made me realize that group norms doesn't always necessarily have to be something regarding a quality of interest that people share. Another great example you use are the expected norms that we students already know-such as being quiet at the MLK library. Nobody needs to remind us or tell us to be quiet, as a group, we already know it is the norm to keep quiet and voices low.
ReplyDeleteYour next personal experience is a great example of adapting to norms. Within your group of friends, time was a concept that you and your friends didn't have in common. However, after the few times you experienced waiting, you realized on your own that 20 minutes was the window of either showing up late or "on time". It's good that you understand the pattern and not have it bother you if someone is a little late or a little early. It just shows that you and your group of friends relate to one another to a point that a little time difference doesn't effect the relationship of your group.