Monday, October 15, 2012
Difficulty Listening: Memory
I've been meeting a lot of new people recently, and just like everyone else, I try to make a good first impression when I meet people. But during several of these interactions, I've had difficulty remembering the names of the people I meet, even just a minute or two after being introduced. This very thing happened a couple weeks ago. I was at work when a guy notice my Bemidji State T-shirt and flagged me down. He said he went to school in Bemidji, and it turns out that my uncle was his high school science teacher. I asked the guy for his name at the end of the conversation, but I was so focused on making eye contact and giving a firm handshake that I didn't even concentrate when he told me his name. This means that the memory phase is giving me difficulty because I was so concerned with my outward appearance and first impression that I didn't really concentrate enough to retain the guy's name. I've heard that repeating something right after you hear it will help you remember it better, so, in future situations like that, I might try repeating the person's name to help myself commit it to memory. It might also help to just be more confident in my "external performance" (as the book calls it) and feel self-assured that I'm making a good impression. If I do that, I'll be able to focus completely on the conversation.
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Hello Burg, I found your post to be very interesting and well-informed on the memory phase. I can completely agree with you when it comes to remembering peoples' names when you first meet them. When anyone hears the word memory, I think a lot of people can relate to you in the fact that the biggest problem we have when meeting new people is actually retaining their information. Your example was a great way to explain the memory phase because it shows that when you focus on making eye contact or giving physical gestures that are important in conversation, you tend to forget the little things (such as the person's name). I always do this when I meet new people. I get too involved in the conversation and trying to keep things professional both verbally and physically that by the end of the conversation, I always ask myself.."What's his name again?" This is why memory phase is so important when it comes to listening. Even the most simplest conversations and gestures can catch you off-guard because you are so focused in giving out a first good impression. I too have hear that if you repeat something right away it will help you remember it. I actually have never tried this method, so I plan to try it the next time I meet someone new. It might take some time to acquire this method because you probably have to think twice as hard while you're listening to the person, but I'm sure with lots of practice you'll be able to nail it. I'm glad you were able to catch that because now you know how to overcome it in future conversations which will undoubtedly make your conversation/listening skills a lot better.
ReplyDeleteHello Burgs! First off, I just want to say that I love your post and I completely understand what you've experienced. We have so much going on that it seems like our memory span is getting shorter. Especially when listening to others cause we are so over whelmed with our own lives. It's also funny when we get older our memory should get better like most things that get better when we get older. I think that memory is better than selective attention because it's an unintentional action. Except it makes us look ignorant and careless when most of the time that isn't the case. I usually have really good memory, but when this happens to me it makes me feel bad to say the least. The two suggestions you give to help yourself are great. Repetition is the key to everything in my opinion. Like the say goes, "practice makes perfect." And the external performance that the book talks about is also good cause it's a psychological aspect that gives us confidence In ourselves about other people. I've used this method many times and I think it works. Again, great job!
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